Far be it for me to criticize any Mum on her choice of head gear for nipper (yes, sorry - I'm going to), but when the heavens open and you're stood with your child sporting a mere pink diamante feather head adornment, you might want to take a moment to reconsider your options. A hat perhaps, or even a coat. Having taken spot-brolly out less than three times before its limbs started flopping about, I can also say - coats, god bless em.
Coats are fantastic!! They really are - but why aren't they waterproof? Who likes that cold wetness feeling in their bones. Surely waterproof should be universally heralded as the MUST WEAR of every season? (even Summer, this is Britain after all) Walking in the rain is ace, that raining smell, the muddy pubbles! The fact is, it always rains. So why aren't our coats made to tackle our seasonal downpours?
I start online.
ASOS my guilty pleasure (usual searches: Space, Skeleton and Dinosaur, of course - no teeny bikini for me) types: WATERPROOF. 34 styles found. 1. waterproof mascara, 2. Men's waterproof coats. Observe (shay colourful mind)
Next John Lewis where at least women's coats make it into your search top ten, but 1 and 2 are again men's coats or mascara. Can you see where I'm going with this? I'm not against wearing coats designated "Men's coats" - no way, because the marketing is just daft. What these shops are telling me is - this is not for you, this mascara, that's for you ... dear. That my options, as a woman, are limited because apparently I don't have any desire to be dry, warm, comfortable, well... but hey, I can have streak proof make-up.
I reluctantly go back to those mountain climbing, hill walking shops but find my energies waning due to the amount of standard black jackets, which come in the most obscene assortment of prices... No, I don't need it for a trip to Mount Everest, yes I would prefer something a little less... black. They are also mere jackets, assuming your legs will be taking part in a sporty contortion event. It would however be nice to sit on a wet bench without worrying about my pants. I also don't get most of it, do I need all those fancy worded extras?
Try your standard women's fashion shop and you'll find coats galore, in mac, duffle and all weather shapes, but it won't be waterproof. It will be "spray proof" or "water resistant" - meaning, yes, it will get soaked through but at least it will dry quickly! (you won't, however) some are even sheer or made of silk. You heard it, Macs - made of silk. That's like shoes made of tissue paper.
Check out Boden "Great British Style" love em, and their claim of "weather beating properties" - but their Rainy Day Mac which will set you back a staggering £119 is still only water resistant (a point made at the end of a long list of plus points, when really ability to enjoy a rainy day without getting wet is completely lacking) Check our my CHAT conversation...
You are now chatting with Michael.
Fran: Hi, Is your rainy day mac waterproof?
Michael: Hi Fran. I am sorry to say that our Rainy Day Mac is not waterproof, only shower resistant.
Michael: I hope this does not put you off ordering. Please let me know if there is anything else that I can help with
|Boden, Rainy Day Mac - August 2014|
How about we start giving women a few more choices? Because I for one feel short changed. I would like to stay dry, I would like to be comfortable and lastly, forgo any fancy style embellishments or "slim fit" for my pleasure. I look at my daughter's yellow wellies, rainbow waterproof coat and I think - what went wrong? When did waterproof mascara take over as women's number one rain proof aid. How did the umbrella industry take off without perfecting that wild ability ALL brollies have to turn inside out, launch you about like a drunk Mary Poppins or just plain break after a couple of uses. A friend of mine had a shoe fly off into the Mersey, I dread to think what would have happened to her if she'd been attached to a splindley sail.
My call to manufacturers goes like this. I would like a waterproof coat please, that isn't black, short or that annoying "women's fit", that doesn't have fancy ruffles (Jigsaw, looking at you) or comes in pink (because you know, if its pink it MUST be for us women), that isn't Everest prepped or gets my underwear wet in the boring way. I would like a coat that IS for rainy days and will keep me dry.
I would like all these things to be standard - a rainy day mac should be waterproof, it should be what it set out to be otherwise its clearly a "rainy day and yes I am soaked" Mac which is as off putting as it sounds. Come on retailers, ditch the splash proof and go for the actual water falling from the sky waterproof. As we're moving into Autumn you'll thank me for it. No one will give a damn about their mascara then.